I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
