I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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