Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
