Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize