R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I was not drunk enough for that final.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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