There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
