I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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