I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
