Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
