They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
