I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
