oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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