I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
