How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
