so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
