Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
