Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
