True but thats because hes a fetus.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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