Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
