I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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