They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
