Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
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