I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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