my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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