I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize