Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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