So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
