If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
