I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
