You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
