Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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