hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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