Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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