She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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