i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
