that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
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Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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