why do cheetos always look like penises
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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