Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I want to fling myself into the sun
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
