Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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