i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
