I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
whose parrot is this?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
