She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
