So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
