i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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