Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
