I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
