I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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