In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
