I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
as a side note pls kill me
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize