Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
