Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
