You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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