dude i'm inner monologue high
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
