does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
