Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize