i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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