ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
