Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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