I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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