dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
